Concerned asked this question: I know you said this week’s teaching was not about divorce, but I can’t help wondering about it. I have a divorce in my background and so this issue is important to my heart. What does the Bible say about a Christian remarrying after a divorce that wasn’t necessarily the best (we are both Christians and both made mistakes). Can I remarry? What if I do remarry? Am I committing adultery?
Thanks for your question. Yes, you remember correctly – Paul’s point was not about marriage or divorce. However, he is alluding to the Biblical idea that marriage is something that is intended to be “til death do us part.” At death, one is free to be “bound” to another. So, the question becomes: is divorce ever ok biblically? And, is remarriage ever ok?
Let me say two things before we look at what the Bible says.
One, people often use God’s words in Malachi 2:16 that he “hates divorce” as a stick to hit people and make them feel bad. However, we need to understand God hates divorce for the same reason that we do – it hurts, it rips people apart, it is not the intention for marriage. I’ve never known a person that would say that divorce is painless and happy. Whether it is what leads to the point of divorce or the divorce itself, it is a horrible thing because it injures. So, know that God hurts with the person who goes through a divorce.
Two, it is important to look at what the Bible says and decide that you will trust what it says. It might be painful and/or hard – but God’s heart for us is to experience joy and experience Him. Sometimes, that means walking through the valley of pain and suffering.
What does the Bible say? (let me give some broad overviews)
1. God’s design is for permanence in marriage
2. While divorce is never counseled in Scripture, there do appear to be a couple of situations where divorce is permissable if no reconciliation is possible: one, if there was adultery in the marriage (Matthew 19:9); two, if there is desertion by a non-believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15-16).
3. The Biblical direction is always to be in the direction of reconciliation.
4. If there is a divorce that happens upon Biblical grounds (see #2), then remarriage is permissable.
5. If someone is divorced and remarries with no knowledge of any of these issues, they should stay married.
This is a simple overview and there is much more that could be said. Because every issue is so complex, it is important to sit down and talk through the issues with someone. I would be happy to sit down and talk through things. Give me a call.
2 responses so far ↓
akalt // October 9, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Concerned asked this question: I know you said this week’s teaching was not about divorce, but I can’t help wondering about it. I have a divorce in my background and so this issue is important to my heart. What does the Bible say about a Christian remarrying after a divorce that wasn’t necessarily the best (we are both Christians and both made mistakes). Can I remarry? What if I do remarry? Am I committing adultery?
akalt // October 9, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Thanks for your question. Yes, you remember correctly – Paul’s point was not about marriage or divorce. However, he is alluding to the Biblical idea that marriage is something that is intended to be “til death do us part.” At death, one is free to be “bound” to another. So, the question becomes: is divorce ever ok biblically? And, is remarriage ever ok?
Let me say two things before we look at what the Bible says.
One, people often use God’s words in Malachi 2:16 that he “hates divorce” as a stick to hit people and make them feel bad. However, we need to understand God hates divorce for the same reason that we do – it hurts, it rips people apart, it is not the intention for marriage. I’ve never known a person that would say that divorce is painless and happy. Whether it is what leads to the point of divorce or the divorce itself, it is a horrible thing because it injures. So, know that God hurts with the person who goes through a divorce.
Two, it is important to look at what the Bible says and decide that you will trust what it says. It might be painful and/or hard – but God’s heart for us is to experience joy and experience Him. Sometimes, that means walking through the valley of pain and suffering.
What does the Bible say? (let me give some broad overviews)
1. God’s design is for permanence in marriage
2. While divorce is never counseled in Scripture, there do appear to be a couple of situations where divorce is permissable if no reconciliation is possible: one, if there was adultery in the marriage (Matthew 19:9); two, if there is desertion by a non-believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15-16).
3. The Biblical direction is always to be in the direction of reconciliation.
4. If there is a divorce that happens upon Biblical grounds (see #2), then remarriage is permissable.
5. If someone is divorced and remarries with no knowledge of any of these issues, they should stay married.
This is a simple overview and there is much more that could be said. Because every issue is so complex, it is important to sit down and talk through the issues with someone. I would be happy to sit down and talk through things. Give me a call.